Paradoxes to embrace to be successful

                     

By Bayo Ogunmupe

     Inasmuch as I like self improvement, I always pepper my insights  with caveats. Nothing in life is straightforwardly true. Every truth is a paradox. If you want to be successful, you need to be comfortable physically and in thought as well. You need to be comfortable holding two or more contradictory thoughts in your mind simultaneously. Most people can't do this. They crave binary, black and white, either or thinking. Either you are on their team or not, agree with them or else you will be branded stupid  and evil. And you may have to toe the line or get ostracized. Thus, you have to brainwash yourself into undoing your binary societal programming. Which means reading and studying alternative media sources, watching videos or whatever you must do.

    In processing your mindset to hold contradictory  beliefs, you must implement this through test theories you learned in self improvement strategies. Thereafter, you learn to constantly question your thoughts from results delivered onto your problem solving techniques. Constantly questioning your thoughts and results ensure that you are never sure you are 100 percent right. This doesn't guarantee the correctness of your decisions but teaches you to be perspicacious and attempt to be less wrong, not right. Using this process, especially when it comes to paradoxes enables you to markedly right in decision making. On what makes people successful; the first is a superiority complex- a deep seated belief in their exceptionality. The second appears to be the opposite-insecurity, a feeling that you or what you've done isn't good enough. The third is impulse control.

    Thus, you need a delusional level of optimism to counteract all of the negativity, limiting beliefs and social programming that permeates society. Which is why the masses aren't at fault. Indeed, the inevitable outcome of decades of brainwashing, political deception and institutional mass conditioning based on perverse incentives is the vast majority of people living well below their potential and infecting you with that energy on accident. Put another way, never be mad at society, don't look at other inherently worthy people as sheep, just understand what's going on and prepare your mental defences against it. If mediocrity is the norm as is in Nigeria today, you have to think of yourself as exceptional.

      You have to be audacious and borderline arrogant to believe that somehow. You need balls, courage, moxie, a chip on your shoulder, whatever you need to navigate that minefield of achieving your purpose. And at the same time, you should think of yourself as a worm with a ton of work to do in order to survive. We all have fantasies of being our super self; of being a superb self actualized person. If even we never did anything with our daydreams, we have them all the time and fancy ourselves better than the average person. But to be successful, you must escape Potentialville. That is to say that you must eschew the pride of Mister Know- All.

      When you try to develop a skill, you will be confronted with feedback about how much you suck at it. It takes humility to admit you don't know all that much and need to get better. It takes darn courage to take genuine criticism and use it to improve. There is a healthy form of self doubt. This form pushes you to get better for the sake of getting better instead of wallowing in egotism. Your purpose means everything. The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. Yet everybody rushes around in great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.

Paradoxes to embrace to be successful (2)

                    By Bayo Ogunmupe

    There are paradoxes of life you must embrace in order to be successful. In this second and final part, you will learn that every truth is but half of the truth of life. Though purpose is everything, but in the eyes of the universe, you could die at any moment. That you shouldn't dare thinking about success at all, that that is only a figment of your imagination. This only serves your ego causing pain when you fail to get what you want. On the other hand, however, your life should matter to you. You only have one life as vast as the universe is; you see yourself as the centre of the universe. And you will feel the joy of triumph or the regret of failure of the choice of your path before you die. So, what's left as choice is detachment.

    With experience comes knowledge, with knowledge comes wisdom. These gifts go freely to those who are comfortable walking in both darkness and light. Thus, there is no one "right" way to grow. See what's beautiful in every person's path, in every religion and in every belief system. Honour other people's paths even if they are different from yours. There is no right way; there is only the way that is right for you. What you think you create, what you feel, you attract and what you imagine you become. Therefore, don't seek to be relevant or liked. Seek to be undeniably indispensable. Seek to be compassionate. Seek integrity, humility and enlightenment. And there is a difference between a job and a career, no matter how much you are paid.

    Anything is possible if you pretend you never saw the obstacle. But ninety- nine percent of people are convinced they are incapable of achieving great things. So, they aim for the mediocre; which is why competition is fiercest for realistic goals, making realistic goals the most time and energy consuming. You may work hard developing skills; a career, a business, relationships; the perfect body, whatever it is that you want, without taking yourself all that seriously in the process. That is detachment. Most people make the mistake of taking their lives too seriously, living below their potential- what a tragedy. You should treat life like a game you are trying to win. But remember it's just a game and anything can happen, however, treat it like everything matters.

    Follow the lifestyle as set down by the German literary critic and man of letters, Viktor Frankl: "Don't aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself." If you want to play with a cat, don't pet it, ignore it and it will come to you. If you want someone to like you, don't smother them with attention. Don't show all your cards, be coy and flirty; show a bit of interest, but not a ton upfront.

    If you want to be successful, don't focus so much on success but rather, work on yourself and your craft  until you attract success. In your desperation for results, you don't spend enough time working. Writers who desperately want success, don't write that much. They're only needy. Neediness repels success; repels people, it repels everything. How to get wealthy: "When you are young, work to learn, not to earn."-- Robert Kiyosaki. Middle class people who often boast they "don't care about money," care absolutely more than most others. Only that they think of everything in linear terms. People who want wealth forgo immediate gratification in terms of money making a killing down the road like baba ijebu gamblers. Millionaires evolve a lifelong culture of making money.

    Those who want to be wealthy gain profitable skills. Learn how to turn money to even greater money. Money buys freedom, you want the freedom itself, not shekels. Ignore short cuts for they make long delays. Cutting corners feed your subconscious with the negativity of self distrust. Doing things the hard way by avoiding shortcuts  makes your journey shorter and smoother. There isn't any secret of getting rich. Every minute you waste on a get rich scheme should have been spent on developing the skills to actually become rich. There is no substitute to working for money.

Lessons I learned about making money

                    By Bayo Ogunmupe

     This testimony is about what I learned from reading "You Were Born Rich" by Bob Proctor. I was actually attracted to the book at a bend-down book vendor's stall in front of the Lagos General Post Office by the name of the author. The first time I came into contact with word 'proctor' I asked for its meaning from my English master, an English man who told me 'warden' is its synonym. Later, I discovered both words have ancient history behind them. And I have always been fascinated by Ancient History. As the first child of my father, an only son, I was spoiled with money gifts in my early life. I always had enough of it. Besides, both of my parents have always worked full time running their businesses. Moreover my mum was always ready to part with any cash to keep me and my friends near her, away from miscreants around town.

     So tending money characterized my childhood. Though I was living a great life then, I was always economical. In the political economy of my adolescence, I appreciated money, because it could buy you anything, with bicycles and servants among them. Since my friends valued me for my generosity, I became interested in making more money than people I was surrounded by. So, when I stumbled on the book: You Were Born Rich, I thought the book is only about money, it's not. It is about how to excel in life. Proctor's You Were Born Rich is one of the few books that show the scientific perspective about motivation and law of attraction and manifestation. It also teaches how to apply the laws of attraction and manifestation. Here, you will find the most powerful lessons about mindset, money, and the abundant life.

    "Success is not always 'reaching out' for something that you don't have but rather only 'reaching over' and rearranging the pieces already there." This sentence I am highlighting I found quite thought provoking. For me, reaching over and rearranging the pieces means you must reflect examine yourself. It is saying the diamond you are searching for in Sokoto is at your backyard. The passage is telling you that you are looking for outside is within you. Since you have everything, you only need to open your eyes, grab the pieces and put them together.

      Freedom isn't cheap. I believe the desire for freedom is a most prized longing. There is hardly anyone who wouldn't want to be free. The wish to live in a particular location, financial freedom, being your own boss and many others are the desires of the majority. However, all those who enjoy the perks of freedom invested heavily to get there. Sleepless nights, mounds of risks, loss of friends and empty social lives are but a few of sacrifices they needed to make. If you are going to live life the way you want it, you must pay the high price. And this doesn't come easy; although the rewards are phenomenal.

    Meanwhile, money will have a greater influence on your life than almost any other commodity you can think of. Even in our cashless society of today, you will sometimes enter into a situation of humiliation if you aren't carrying cash. Without cash you will be living in a financial nightmare even though you had enough money in the bank. Billions of naira may never redeem a night of humiliation. Then you will realize how much power money has in our lives; just Bob Proctor asserts: "There can be no denial of the fact that money is important to any person living in a civilized society."

Lessons I learned about making money (2)

                    

By Bayo Ogunmupe

    "Ninety five people out of a hundred settle for whatever they get, wishing they had more all the way from the cradle to the casket, never understanding that they could actually have had all they wanted." As a literary critic, I mainly work with people who are already motivated to improve themselves and create a life of excellence. And even though most of my customers are already into topics like mindset, law of attraction and abundance, the majority don't actually believe they can have it all. They would have liked to make it big in life, but they settle for whatever they get.

    But most of the time, it's out of convenience. The would have liked to achieve big results, but they can't convince themselves it would be worth giving their all, so they refuse to go the extra mile. Most people want more money than they really need; which is why they settle for a lot less than they could get. Although luck plays some part in financial success, it is never sufficient in itself. In effect, money must always be earned.

    In my researches on luck, what brings luck is preparation for success. Thus, some people were lucky enough to be born into a rich family and will probably never need to work. But then they will miss being achievers. Which is why I don't care about the lucky and their circumstances. Luck doesn't bother me inasmuch as being prepared for my opportunity. I just focus on things that I can influence or control and that is where I can seize financial success. There are no free rides in this life. The only people making money the easy way either work in the mint or are on their way to jail, if they have not already arrived there. Cases in point are some of Nigeria's state governors who are now in jail decades after leaving office.

    Confiscating  looted properties and jailing Nigerian corrupt leaders is a question of time; Providence will always provide the circumstances and the plague. When money is stolen and stashed away in a vault, it will exposed because according to Proctor, "Money is not meant to be taken out of circulation, rather, it is meant to be used, enjoyed and circulated." Looters are always afraid of using money because it will expose them immediately. Money is not meant to be locked up in a vault. It is to be invested. Money is energy which increases if you use it. If you don't use it it depreciates and fade away.

    People don't feel comfortable once they have money. But people have it because they feel confident and comfortable with it. Money is a mind game. "The best way to develop a prosperity consciousness is to start seeing yourself, in your mind's eye, already in possession of the amount of money that you desire." If you don't believe you can possess more money, you won't. Visualization is a powerful tool at our disposal, but only a tiny amount of humans use it.  I know many doubt the law of attraction and techniques like manifestation. However, it doesn't matter if you don't believe in it. Universal laws work equally for everyone, the law of attraction is one of them.

Success principles few people follow (2)

                    

By Bayo Ogunmupe

    Understanding success principles underlying life is critical to living the life of your dreams. Persistence is one of those success principles. How persistent are you in pursuing what you really want? A great secret of success is learning to keep moving despite your doubts. There is no better example of persistence than the story of the 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. He failed in business at21, lost a legislative race at age 22, failed in business again at 24 and lost a Parliamentary election when he was 34. At 45 he lost a senatorial race. He failed to become Vice President at 47. But he was finally elected President of the United States at 52 years of age.

    Lincoln never quit. Every failure was a stepping stone until he finally assumed the highest office in America. This learns you not to give up too soon. As long as you are actively trying after every failure, you have not failed. Another principle of success is giving up the desire to be liked or accepted. A famous writer and man of letters Erich Hoffer once said: "A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business." Wanting to be accepted is human, hence the insane pursuit of conformity. Make a conscious effort of not giving a damn. Set yourself free. This is a skill that needs to be acquired and practised. Once you truly learn how to let go; you will see the world from an entirely different perspective.

    The key to the good life you are after is giving a damn about what is important to your growth, career and total well being. Stopping to give a damn about what other people think, boosts your self confidence to the rooftops than you ever imagine. You start believing in yourself and what you can offer the world. Then, you stop outside influences from meddling with your decisions. Also, never panic when your plans fail; life isn't linear, not everything goes as planned. You cannot achieve goal. You just reshuffle your goal and move on. Your best strategy when planning is making contingency or alternative plans. Your plans for the week or next month may not unfold as expected. Never attach yourself to any particular plan, adapt when necessary.

    Stop worrying about what you cannot control. You can do nothing about the past, the future and the perception of others. When you spend time wishing things had been different; you stop making progress. You only need to prepare yourself for what's  ahead. You only have control over your thoughts, decisions, attitude and reactions. When you limit yourself to what's within your control, life becomes easier for you to handle. You can influence people and circumstances but you cannot for change in others. Instead of worrying about things you cannot change, focus on making impact and bigger difference in areas with mutual agreement. 

    If however, you what to achieve in six months what takes most people 10 years to achieve, you need to cut the learning curve. To cut the learning curve and minimize your mistakes, you need to do one thing: You need to read a lot. Reading books and articles from people who have done what you are looking for, will cut the learning curve by decades for you. Following the long conventional path in achieving your goals is the result of your not being someone who actively seeks out new ideas. This happens when you fail to read about successful people in your fi

What I learned about making money (3)

  

    If you really want to increase the amount of money you are presently earning, the first thing you must do is to stop paying attention to what others around you are saying or doing. You are to pay more attention to what that quiet voice  speaking within you, is saying. Most people who fail to accumulate enough money to live in the lifestyle of their dreams are those most easily influenced by the opinion of others. Even though you love your mum and your mum loves you; if your mum didn't achieve the financial success that you are striving for, it makes sense for you not to listen to her advice. Instead talk to someone who is already wealthy and can give you profound advice in terms of finances.

    "Thinking is the highest function a human being is capable of doing. Unfortunately, very people think. They merely trick themselves into believing they are thinking when they're exercising their faculty called "memory." You have power to think. In your exercise of that power, create a reality wilder than your wildest dreams. Use that incredible power to transform the way you think, feel and make money. As soon as you hold thoughts of prosperity and think of yourself as a wealthy, prosperous person who is surrounded  and swimming in a sea of plenty, your body and mind will instantly move to a prosperous vibration and you will begin to attract, like a magnet, everything necessary for you to become wealthy,

    You must begin to see money as an obedient, diligent servant, that you can employ to earn more money. And that you can use to provide services far beyond the service you could ever physically provide. Money is evil. Money spoils character. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer. These limiting statements are the beliefs of the mediocre and impoverished. Lack and limitation can only exist when you make room for them in your mind. When you allow limiting beliefs to dominate your mind you remain small.  Your first step to live in abundance is to believe in it and focus your mind on wealth. Distant yourself from small minded people. You think and act big in order to create big results.

    It is an absolute law of life that you must have something mentally before you will ever have it physically. If you cannot imagine yourself living in abundance and financial freedom, you won't ever be able to create that reality. The law of attraction reacts both ways. You can attract wealth, but you also attract misery. It is according to your choice. Think of the things you would do with that money or executive position, and then mentally start doing them. Since your subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between actuality and visualization, this exercise will quickly help you develop the prosperity consciousness. But you must understand that thinking by itself, isn't enough, you must reinforce it with action.

    One of the world's most distinguished psychologists, William James (1842-1910) concluded that the average individual uses a small portion (about 10 percent) of his potential. And so you are capable of so much more than you think. Life isn't about playing it small. It is about taking risks, learning from our mistakes in order to grow into an even better person and unleashing our full potential. You were not made to play it safe and do the same things for 90 years until you finally die. Most people live intellectually or morally in restriction. They use a small portion of their consciousness and creative resources, much like a person who uses only a finger out of his whole bodily organism.

Success principles few people follow (2)

                   

 By Bayo Ogunmupe

    Understanding success principles underlying life is critical to living the life of your dreams. Persistence is one of those success principles. How persistent are you in pursuing what you really want? A great secret of success is learning to keep moving despite your doubts. There is no better example of persistence than the story of the 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. He failed in business at21, lost a legislative race at age 22, failed in business again at 24 and lost a Parliamentary election when he was 34. At 45 he lost a senatorial race. He failed to become Vice President at 47. But he was finally elected President of the United States at 52 years of age.

    Lincoln never quit. Every failure was a stepping stone until he finally assumed the highest office in America. This learns you not to give up too soon. As long as you are actively trying after every failure, you have not failed. Another principle of success is giving up the desire to be liked or accepted. A famous writer and man of letters Erich Hoffer once said: "A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business." Wanting to be accepted is human, hence the insane pursuit of conformity. Make a conscious effort of not giving a damn. Set yourself free. This is a skill that needs to be acquired and practised. Once you truly learn how to let go; you will see the world from an entirely different perspective.

    The key to the good life you are after is giving a damn about what is important to your growth, career and total well being. Stopping to give a damn about what other people think, boosts your self confidence to the rooftops than you ever imagine. You start believing in yourself and what you can offer the world. Then, you stop outside influences from meddling with your decisions. Also, never panic when your plans fail; life isn't linear, not everything goes as planned. You cannot achieve goal. You just reshuffle your goal and move on. Your best strategy when planning is making contingency or alternative plans. Your plans for the week or next month may not unfold as expected. Never attach yourself to any particular plan, adapt when necessary.

    Stop worrying about what you cannot control. You can do nothing about the past, the future and the perception of others. When you spend time wishing things had been different; you stop making progress. You only need to prepare yourself for what's  ahead. You only have control over your thoughts, decisions, attitude and reactions. When you limit yourself to what's within your control, life becomes easier for you to handle. You can influence people and circumstances but you cannot for change in others. Instead of worrying about things you cannot change, focus on making impact and bigger difference in areas with mutual agreement. 

    If however, you what to achieve in six months what takes most people 10 years to achieve, you need to cut the learning curve. To cut the learning curve and minimize your mistakes, you need to do one thing: You need to read a lot. Reading books and articles from people who have done what you are looking for, will cut the learning curve by decades for you. Following the long conventional path in achieving your goals is the result of your not being someone who actively seeks out new ideas. This happens when you fail to read about successful people in your fi

How to create life of your dreams

                  

By Bayo Ogunmupe

    There is a minimum proven process of five years for building the life of your dreams. I celebrated my fifth year anniversary as an author and student of self improvement in Abuja in 2017. My main accomplishment was publishing in 2011, a best seller which sold more than a million copies in five countries: United Kingdom, United States, Australia, Canada and New Zealand. It sold only 60 copies in Nigeria. But it enabled me to grow my readership from zero to millions. I quit seeking employment to become a full time freelance economics correspondent, columnist and literary critic.

    Having crossed the five-year threshold as an author,  I can vouch that being on your own works. You will experience phenomenal growth In the beginning, you might not be perfect at the new skill you are trying to forge. But in time, you won't just become better and more successful, you will suddenly gain fame and experience greater success. In the end, each day you become a little wiser than you were  when you woke up. Step by step you get ahead, but not necessarily on the fast lane. Then, you will build discipline that prepares you for fast spurts. If you live long enough, you get what you deserve at the end. 

    Spend your first 90 days working on your new path, skill or project without restraint. You will quickly learn not only what it takes to succeed but whether you like doing it. This helps you more than any amount of research or studying  will teach you. In the event the path doesn't seem like fitting, you didn't waste that much time in discovering.  For the rule of 100, learn to do something 100 times to get good at it. By the time you write 100 blog posts, record 100 podcasts and pitch 100 new clients, you are on the path of excellence.

    The distinguished American management expert, Peter Drucker and author of Managing Oneself, talked about using 18-month benchmarks to track your overall progress. That length of time is long enough to give you enough data but not long enough to deter you from creating unrealistic  goals. But for the best selling author, Gary Keller, who teaches The Only One Thing rule of focus. You are to ask yourself, What is the one thing you can do, such that by doing it, everything will be easier or unnecessary? You can use that rule to reverse long-term goals into actionable goals and key performance indicators. 

  You are expected to use this One Thing Rule for 18 months, then for the quarter, then for each month, for each week and for each day.  Going by this  mode, your skills compound like an investment account in five years. By engaging this framework for every new goal or decision, you will achieve a level of progress you didn't dream possible.

How to create your own luck

                   

 By Bayo Ogunmupe

    Those who are lucky in their chosen career paths; seemingly getting to where they want to be, without effort and making a living from it. We look at others experiencing great success and say, "Oh they must be better than me, more talented or just more lucky. What we do when we think that way is placing ourselves in victim mode. That way we disempower ourselves by gnawing away the fact that we're responsible for our own successes. The truth is that we have the talent to create our own success and good luck whether we believe it or not. moreover, there so many things we can do to produce our success in following our dreams as writers, entrepreneurs or actors. You have the power to create the talent and luck to get to where you want to be.

    You can achieve this when you combine your passion with the positive energy of the law of attraction. With these you can boost your chances of reaching your goals. However, all the talent in this world, is nothing compared to a strong work ethic and good discipline. This is essential to creating luck for oneself in order to be successful. Examine anyone who has made it to the top of his field, you will see that discipline is paramount. Another important factor is good time keeping. Going to work late is a bad habit that grows out of a lack of discipline. By making a conscious decision to value time both yours and that of others, you will find that your life becomes a lot less stressful.

    Your energy everyday is crucial to your success. This you can gain through getting enough sleep everyday, eating a balanced diet and undertaking regular physical exercise. By working from the core of your best self your emotional and mental life will blossom. This enables you to take on any task and begin to create a deep sense of self worth and invincibility. By always giving everything your best  shot with maximum effort you ensure good luck and success. This way you teach yourself you are capable. Also, passion is a key ingredient to success. Feed your passion by loving yourself and your work you increase your self worth. Sadly, you won't get anywhere if you don't love what you do. Look at the greats in your profession; you will see how they have mastered what they do due to passion. In whatever field, passion is what drives us to do our best.

    A way of attracting good luck to oneself is learning from those who came before you. The way to excel in your profession is to learn the history of that profession. By opening to learning from those who came before you, you grow into a colossus of your age. Stop envying those who are already where you want to be by cultivating humility and a sense of purpose. That will ingratiate you to them. They will then teach you the ropes from where you carve your own individual way forward. Going the extra mile shows you are serious about improving yourself and bent on making progress. People will always remember you for delivering just a little more. Push yourself a little harder than usual, you will be pleasantly surprised by your own prowess.

    Confidence comes from knowing your job, so always be prepared. Whether you are to make a speech, do an interview or going to watch a game of soccer, always be prepared, you might be asked to give the opening prayer or give a tribute. Being proactive (planning in advance) instead of reactive (reacting after things have happened) is a much stronger approach to life. You should realize that talent, luck and success are not by chance, they are all habits within our control.

How To Change Your Life

                    By bayo Ogunmupe

    There is a law in psychology that if you form a picture in your mind of what you would like to be, and you keep and hold that picture there long enough, soon enough, you will become exactly as you have been thinking. Which is why you deserve everything you can rightfully earn by doing an excellent job, producing and distributing products or services that improve people's lives and work. Therefore, you should dedicate yourself to serving others. In a market economy like ours, all transactions are voluntary, driven by the profit- motive. People buy goods if only they are going to gain.  You can therefore be successful in the long run if only you can provide the things people want. The greater you serve the people, the more you deserve their loyalty and gain.

    The 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln once said, "The very best way to help the poor, isn't to become one of them." By making a lot of money, you make a significant contribution to the welfare of the people. Your mind can only hold one thought at a time. You should apply this law, by deliberately thinking positively whenever you want to cancel out a thought or feeling that makes angry or unhappy. However, the law of habit says: "Any action that you repeat over and over becomes a new habit." By using your willpower and repetition, you can become a completely positive person and change your life.

    A major cause of negative emotion, according to the Russian esotericist teacher Pyotr Demianovich Ouspensky, in his book: In Search of the Miraculous, is attachment. This occurs when you take something personally or become attached to a person or thing. The great spiritual teachers such as Buddha, jesus and mohammed have emphasised the importance of separating yourself emotionally from the situation, in order to regain your calmness and composure. The U.S psychology philosopher, William James of Harvard wrote: "The first step in dealing with any difficulty is to be willing to have it so." He encouraged people to say, "What cannot be cured must be endured." In other words practice detachment from any situation that makes you upset.

    Nothing or no one has any control over you unless there is something you still want from them. As soon as you detach your emotions from a person or object, you are free from his control. The ability to detach yourself from others is a power you can develop through practice. It can make you the master of a situation that might otherwise cause you to become upset and angry. Psychologists say everything we do is to increase our self esteem and sense of personal value. The fact is that most people are preoccupied with themselves and their problems. The person who cuts you off in the traffic is so involved with his own thoughts, that he is not even aware of your existence. It would have been silly to become angry over his thoughtless action.

    You should set your own sails.  Never do or refrain from doing anything because you are concerned about what people might think about you. The fact is that nobody is even thinking about you. In the American sociologist, Abraham Maslow's studies of self actualising people, those two percent of men and women who are fully mature, he found a particular quality that they all possess in common. They were completely honest with themselves. They did not hope or pretend that they were other than they were. This self acceptance was the cornerstone of their self esteem and self respect. Because they knew what they were, they weren't overly influenced by the approval of other people. You should do the same. You should do things to earn the respect of those you respect.

    Exceptional people strive to live up to the ideals of people whose respect is of the greatest value to them. In a study of successful men, researchers found that these people were avid readers of biographies and autobiographies when they were young. An important decision you make as you grow is to model yourself after a specific person whose respect is of the utmost value to you. After making such a choice, you can then organize your life to earn their respect. Modeling has been used as a powerful tool to develop personalities throughout history. This is why in the military, heroic acts of ancient commanders are taught as part of the curriculum. This is to encourage soldiers, sailors, and airmen to think and cat like them.

    The people you admire and take as your model has an inordinate influence on you think and act. Which is why Ludwig Erhard is my model. If I were in another epoch I might have chosen to be a Buddha or a Leonardo. But in this poverty ravaged Nigeria, I would wish to create a welfare state in the manner Erhard pulled off an economic miracle in Germany between 1949 and 1977.It was because of Erhard I made political economy a major area of my study since 1978. Ludwig Wilhelm Erhard was a German economist and statesman who was notable as the architect of the German post-war economic miracle as Minister of Economics under Konrad Adenauer after 1949. He was Chancellor of Germany from 1963 until 1966.

    Born in bavaria in february 1897, from 1913 to 1916, he was a commercial apprentice. later, he worked in his father's draper's shop as a salesman. He served in World War 1 as an artillery man, fought in Romania and was seriously wounded in 1918. Since he could no longer work as a draper, he started the study of Economics, receiving his doctorate in 1925. Then he married Luise Lotter Schuster in Frankfurt in 1923. He moved to his home town Furth as an executive in his father's company. Later, he became the deputy director of a marketing research Institute.

    Owing to his injuries, Erhard wasn't drafted for combat in World War 11. Instead he worked on concepts for a post war peace. In his 1944 study, Erhard assumed that Germany had already lost the war; thereby endorsing efforts to effect an economic revival for post war Germany. After the war he became economic consultant to the American administrators of Bavaria who made him minister of Economics. In 1948, he was elected director of economics of West Germany. In June, he introduced the Deutsche Mark, abolishing price fixing, measures which exceeded his authority but which succeeded in revolutionizing the economy.

    By September 1949, Chancellor Konrad Adenauer appointed him Minister of Economics. His party made his concept of social market economy part of the party platform. His party's victory made the economy evolve into the welfare state. Erhard's policies proved widely popular as the economy made a miraculous recovery to rapid growth and widespread prosperity, overcoming wartime destruction and successfully integrating millions of refugees from East Germany. Adenauer retired in 1963 paving the way for Erhard to succeed him as federal chancellor. He was reelected chancellor in 1965.

    Though the Erhard approach won German reunification, in 1966, led by Minister Walter Scheel, the Free Democrats broke up the coalition with Erhard in the aftermath of the recession. Erhard thereafter resigned. He was succeeded by his party man Kurt Kiesinger who led a grand coalition. Erhard remained a member of Parliament until his death in May 1977. he was honored with a university named for him.

Motivational sacrifices of winners

                    By Bayo Ogunmupe

    There are many sacrifices you must make if you wish to succeed in life. The biggest huddle you must overcome is tied to wanting to feel good short term. Which is why becoming successful is so difficult. Achieving the outcomes you want depend more on what you are willing to give up as against what you are ready to do. The cold reality of life is, you either make sacrifices in order to succeed or you twaddle with the multitude. "I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your as a champion." So said the greatest heavy weight boxing champion of all time, Muhammad Ali. Thus, in order to build up a great career, you have to give up 'having fun'. There wouldn't be time to watch television anymore. But then, work becomes fun.

    As one with a vaulting ambition, you wouldn't be able to relate to other people. In the circumstance, when you are willing to stand out and be your authentic self regardless of the opinion of others, you must be ready to deal with the blowback too. Ask yourself, do you really want to be a leader? Do you want to stand out? It's up to you. However, there is a positive consequence of standing out. A certain group of people watching you as you grow up will be inspired by you and will gravitate toward you. They may not take you seriously in the beginning. But later they will want to prick your brain. Welcome them into the fold by keeping on with some motto such as, you are with the people who want good for you and themselves.

    It is known that lifetime regrets are more painful than delayed gratification. Which is why ninety nine percent of retarding problems are tied to wanting to feel good short time. Sometimes, you want to feel good at all times. Sadly, long term success demands moments of your life where you wouldn't feel good about because such times suck at the new skill you are trying to develop. It only means you creating time and opportunity to smell the roses later. When you get caught up with short term enjoyments, you put yourself into a groove. But being in a groove puts your future success into jeopardy. Short term concessions put nails into the coffin of your greatness.

    Interestingly, what follows the "I am" will always come looking for you. When you say I am so clumsy, clumsiness comes looking for you. 'I am so old'; wrinkles come looking for you. 'I am so overweight,'calories come looking for you. You are inviting them whenever you verbalize such negativity. You have an identity which you have built up over a long period of time. Regardless of how well that identity is serving you, you don't want to let go of it because it's you. Although, in reality, personalities are quite malleable. You can always change your personality but not without some grieving after letting go. Which is why you must abandon the idea that you are some fixed entity incapable of behaving in a different way.

    Letting go of a fixed personality can be a training ground for you to become a much sharper, agiler, and savvy version of yourself. You should realize your comfort zone isn't the place you want to be all, you should therefore start to evolve a sense of self that continually improves with each new challenge. Structuring your environment is essential to your success. And often, being jolted out of your comfort zone improves your environment. Your ego is your greatest enemy. When you remove ego, you are left with what is real. Rock hard humility and confidence replace ego. Ego is stolen, confidence is earned. Ego is self anointed, it is swagger: artifice. Confidence is potent while ego is poisonous. Moving through the world ego free is true freedom. It is an attainable and worthwhile goal. Don't be arrogant enough to think you can overcome your environment, you cannot. Arrogance is ego driven.

Success principles few people follow (2)

                    

By Bayo Ogunmupe

    Understanding success principles underlying life is critical to living the life of your dreams. Persistence is one of those success principles. How persistent are you in pursuing what you really want? A great secret of success is learning to keep moving despite your doubts. There is no better example of persistence than the story of the 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. He failed in business at21, lost a legislative race at age 22, failed in business again at 24 and lost a Parliamentary election when he was 34. At 45 he lost a senatorial race. He failed to become Vice President at 47. But he was finally elected President of the United States at 52 years of age.

    Lincoln never quit. Every failure was a stepping stone until he finally assumed the highest office in America. This learns you not to give up too soon. As long as you are actively trying after every failure, you have not failed. Another principle of success is giving up the desire to be liked or accepted. A famous writer and man of letters Erich Hoffer once said: "A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business." Wanting to be accepted is human, hence the insane pursuit of conformity. Make a conscious effort of not giving a damn. Set yourself free. This is a skill that needs to be acquired and practised. Once you truly learn how to let go; you will see the world from an entirely different perspective.

    The key to the good life you are after is giving a damn about what is important to your growth, career and total well being. Stopping to give a damn about what other people think, boosts your self confidence to the rooftops than you ever imagine. You start believing in yourself and what you can offer the world. Then, you stop outside influences from meddling with your decisions. Also, never panic when your plans fail; life isn't linear, not everything goes as planned. You cannot achieve goal. You just reshuffle your goal and move on. Your best strategy when planning is making contingency or alternative plans. Your plans for the week or next month may not unfold as expected. Never attach yourself to any particular plan, adapt when necessary.

    Stop worrying about what you cannot control. You can do nothing about the past, the future and the perception of others. When you spend time wishing things had been different; you stop making progress. You only need to prepare yourself for what's  ahead. You only have control over your thoughts, decisions, attitude and reactions. When you limit yourself to what's within your control, life becomes easier for you to handle. You can influence people and circumstances but you cannot for change in others. Instead of worrying about things you cannot change, focus on making impact and bigger difference in areas with mutual agreement. 

    If however, you what to achieve in six months what takes most people 10 years to achieve, you need to cut the learning curve. To cut the learning curve and minimize your mistakes, you need to do one thing: You need to read a lot. Reading books and articles from people who have done what you are looking for, will cut the learning curve by decades for you. Following the long conventional path in achieving your goals is the result of your not being someone who actively seeks out new ideas. This happens when you fail to read about successful people in your fi

Only new selves change lives

soyinka

                    By bayo Ogunmupe

    It has been found that if you want to change your life, you must invent a new self. Changing habits never work, only changing your identity does. By the time you become great, you would have become a completely different person. You are more than one version of yourself throughout the course of your life. Every new experience requires you to adapt your identity to fit into your environment. Those who fail to adapt struggle for success in vain. But most of the time we adapt unconsciously. "It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."---- Charles Darwin.

    The elements of who we are become decided for us---our personalities are shaped by nature, the way we're raised, environment, religion, politics, family and our peers. Then, something happens to disrupt the narrative. A line in your story changes and your worldview is upended. We cope with devastating loss as our old beliefs don't make sense anymore. We realize we aren't the people we wanted to be. Life wasn't working out the way we hoped it would. Soon, you find yourself stuck  in a hole of your own making. You are then forced to look around and ask: What am I doing that keeps me in this shit hole? It is at that point you wake up to realize that you have a choice to change or adapt to the world of your dreams.

      At this point, identity becomes the foundation of your life experience. You realize, what you think you are. What you believe you see. Thus, nurture has a heavier influence on you than you realize. In psychology, the term for changing your identity in response to personal crisis and tension is called positive disintegration. This happens when your sense of self collapses, and you are forced to build a new self. However, you don't need to wait for a life crisis before you decide what your next identity will be. You can always become an active participant in your personal development of yourself, thereby avoiding many mistakes, discomfort and unhappiness.

    Therefore, if you want to change your life, you must perforce, change your identity. When you are trying to change your habits, you think of yourself as being bad with money and that you are now trying hard to be good with money. You use your new identity of a person who is bad with money, wanting to become good with money to overwhelm your old self. As humans, we're wired to shield our identities. We unconsciously latch onto news that supports what we want to believe and block information that doesn't; because we are self affirming creatures. In that case, we're not going to act in a way that contradicts what we believe ourselves to be.

    Indeed, if you want to change your life, trying to change your habits will always fail. This is because, in a habit changing mindset, you will always remain a person who cannot change his life without a new self. Thus in order to forge change, you have to focus a new identity, not new behaviors. Two identities cannot coexist in you simultaneously. You have opt for the new identity you would like to be ideally. If you know as a person you value: financial security, purpose and personal freedom; then you have to adopt those values and become a person who is fantastic with money, daily meditate his purpose and work towards long term financial freedom. Always imagine the best possible version of yourself; the version that you always wanted to be. Stop choosing to be less than you want to be.

    Ask people about things they regret doing, they will usually describe those behaviors as being, not really them. That's because their mental identity at the time, did not reflect who they fundamentally are as people. To change your life, you have to imagine you are already the kind of people that can handle money, master challenges: your ideal self. You then build a new identity around being good with money, healthy, compassionate and forward thinking. Life gives you many opportunities to do these. In fact life has just given you one right now for being able to read this column.

This book will change your life

                    

By Bayo Ogunmupe

This book will also allow you to live by different and personal rules. If you are open, the universe will conspire to bring you the right book at the right time you need it. A friend will suggest a book to you, or it might be sitting on a table at a book fair. Perhaps its cover catches your eye as you walk through your favourite  bookshop. Indeed, a book will come across your path when you are ready to meet it; particularly when the wisdom within its pages speaks to a particular problem you are struggling to solve. I am fortunate when a book finds me at just the right time to spell out ways to underscore my values. Good luck happens when you are open to learning new ideas and ready to internalize and implement its wisdom into your life.

    The Four Agreements: A Practical guide to Personal Freedom, written by don Miquel Ruiz, is the book that found me just when I needed it. I have internalized its wisdom over the years. It is one of the books in my library I revisit at least once a year to remind me the essentials of living my best life- these four agreements. I think of them often when I need a reminder. Then I wake up early someday to go through it before going to the office. The results from this mindful practice are a more manageable life with self control. The agreements bring me my personal power and get me out of the reaction mode. living in reaction isn't healthy. Nor does it come from a position of strength.

    Awareness and mindfulness are the keys to re-conditioning our brains  to a place of power. A new mindset changes your perspective. The Four Agreements help you achieve brings a state of bliss which brings you into your power, giving you balance. The First Agreement is: be impeccable with your word. Words have power to lift and destroy. Words are part of your furniture that hang in the air, permeating every part of the room, so utter them with mindfulness. When you speak impeccable language, you speak with integrity; say only what you mean; you don't speak ill of others and you don't speak negatively of yourself. You silence your inner critic and you rid your mind of irrational chatter. By imbibing this agreement, you will experience less negativity in your life. experience less conflict with the people around you.

    The second agreement, don't take anything personally; by its practice your life will change. When someone insults you, belittles your talent, this isn't about you. It is about them. You do not have to accept their judgment. By practicing this agreement, you accept that other people have their own unique identity and their own reality that you don't have anything to do with. By this acceptance, you recognize that the other person's opinions of you do not necessarily describe you. But the caveat is that this applies to the praises and good stuff they say about you also. Taking things personally means that you agree with what others are accusing you of; and you don't have to. You should choose not to allow it to affect you. Being the only one in control of your thoughts, you should not give it any space in your brain.

    Nothing others think or say about you is really about you. Other people see the world with different eyes. Everyone has a different truth. Your truth is different from that of others.  The third agreement is that you don't make assumptions. It is a mistake for you to assume you can read everyone's mind accurately. Nine times out of ten you will be wrong; so don't attempt it. Knowing you cannot read minds frees you from unwarranted assumptions. Assumptions cause misunderstanding among people. Instead of assuming, ask. Be ready for the truth when you ask it. Practice healthy communications; it is the key to healthy relationships. The fourth and final agreement is, always do your best. Stop worrying about failure; just do your best. Let go of your past mistakes. Learn to say no to unwarranted requests from others.

Lessons I learned about making money (2)

                   

 By Bayo Ogunmupe

    "Ninety five people out of a hundred settle for whatever they get, wishing they had more all the way from the cradle to the casket, never understanding that they could actually have had all they wanted." As a literary critic, I mainly work with people who are already motivated to improve themselves and create a life of excellence. And even though most of my customers are already into topics like mindset, law of attraction and abundance, the majority don't actually believe they can have it all. They would have liked to make it big in life, but they settle for whatever they get.

    But most of the time, it's out of convenience. The would have liked to achieve big results, but they can't convince themselves it would be worth giving their all, so they refuse to go the extra mile. Most people want more money than they really need; which is why they settle for a lot less than they could get. Although luck plays some part in financial success, it is never sufficient in itself. In effect, money must always be earned.

    In my researches on luck, what brings luck is preparation for success. Thus, some people were lucky enough to be born into a rich family and will probably never need to work. But then they will miss being achievers. Which is why I don't care about the lucky and their circumstances. Luck doesn't bother me inasmuch as being prepared for my opportunity. I just focus on things that I can influence or control and that is where I can seize financial success. There are no free rides in this life. The only people making money the easy way either work in the mint or are on their way to jail, if they have not already arrived there. Cases in point are some of Nigeria's state governors who are now in jail decades after leaving office.

    Confiscating  looted properties and jailing Nigerian corrupt leaders is a question of time; Providence will always provide the circumstances and the plague. When money is stolen and stashed away in a vault, it will exposed because according to Proctor, "Money is not meant to be taken out of circulation, rather, it is meant to be used, enjoyed and circulated." Looters are always afraid of using money because it will expose them immediately. Money is not meant to be locked up in a vault. It is to be invested. Money is energy which increases if you use it. If you don't use it it depreciates and fade away.

    People don't feel comfortable once they have money. But people have it because they feel confident and comfortable with it. Money is a mind game. "The best way to develop a prosperity consciousness is to start seeing yourself, in your mind's eye, already in possession of the amount of money that you desire." If you don't believe you can possess more money, you won't. Visualization is a powerful tool at our disposal, but only a tiny amount of humans use it.  I know many doubt the law of attraction and techniques like manifestation. However, it doesn't matter if you don't believe in it. Universal laws work equally for everyone, the law of attraction is one of them.